Warning: Expectations Based

2 min readMar 28, 2022

Have you ever noticed, that we build our lives mostly expectation based? During the war time amid of stress and attacks it became so obvious.

We expect, that tomorrow will be the same as today. True? Absolutely.

We expect, that we know how things are going.

We expect, that our houses will stay with us forever.

We expect, that we learned our relatives and friends and know how would they behave or even feel.

We expect, that all plans which we have are manageable and just a matter of time and actions. How often do we have a Plan B? Real Plan B, I mean, for the unexpected unexpectedness? If you do have it, you should join the Hero League. But I would not expect it exists…

No one expects from cracks in their windows…
Photo by Egor Vikhrev on Unsplash

A thing is that we really base too much on expectations.

Even getting into the biggest crisis of our lives, built on the tragedy, on that unexpected unexpectedness, on missile attacks right above our heads, on shots around in your district, you just can’t easily switch into the totally new mode.

Families got separated. Distance became unbelievable. Tomorrow sounds so unknown.

From one hand, you don’t plan anything for the long term anymore. Even the short term is hard to be planned, when you can’t even get asleep in the bombshelter surrounded by weird new sounds of your new life.

Though… despite all the common sense… expectations are coming home, they jump into the head to tell you: “That feeling is wrong. That behavior is not nice. Them words should not have been said.”

Lesson Learned: Stop using your expectations as patterns, especially now. It is a big question if they ever worked before. But now it is a very different moment. It is time to feel, to become honest to yourself first and to those, whom you heart for real. You think they had to say something to you? Expectations based? Stop. You think someone had to tell you something specific? Expectations based? Stop. You would never be disappointed if you would not judge using some expectations. Expectations are coming from your mind, not from others’ actions. Stop putting people into behavioral patterns of your own. The reality changed. And, oh my god, what is expected from tomorrow?…




My story starts in Kharkiv going to Kyiv with my heart belonging to Ukraine. First oncology support dedicated blog turned into the diary from the bombshelter.